Hurtful Things
Remember the term “ranking”? You don’t hear the term much anymore. During the 70’s, one popular sitcom was “Welcome Back Kotter”. Gabe Kaplan, who played Mr. Kotter, talked about “ranking” in his stand-up comedy routine. The writers and producers developed the concept during the run of the show.
What is “ranking”? According to a “Welcome Back Kotter” website, http://www.rollanet.org/~khigh/kotter.html, ranking is “a competition between two people where each tries to top the other's insults.”
On the sitcom, the insults were pretty benign. “Up your nose with a rubber hose,” was considered scathing. Kaplan has another phrase he uses on stage that’s more descriptive and more anatomically possible, if uncomfortable.
On the program, insulting someone was funny and harmless. It was thought to show a quick wit and allowed you to appear impressive.
The purpose my blog today isn’t to reminisce about old, dated sitcoms. However, remembering the show and my experiences of the 70’s did flood my mind with a number of thoughts about what we hear today.
In today’s society, you don’t hear much about “ranking”. What I hear about today is something similar. Today it is called “labeling”.
I am a Caucasian male. When I was a teen I had no outstanding abnormalities. I would not have been “labeled” by nationality. I would not have been “defined” by size.
What I do remember was being “labeled” with the term “junior jerk”. I went to a relatively small high school and there were about thirty or so in our graduating class. Of that thirty, the male/female ratio was split fairly evenly.
For some reason, during our junior year, our class earned the label “junior jerks”. It seemed to stick because a year or so later I visited the school. A former English teacher tripped as she passed by several of us who were talking together. She turned and saw me and muttered the epithet “junior jerk”.
Likely, this was meant to be funny. Hopefully, it was meant to be a term of recognition and maybe an endearment toward a member of her old class.
Still, it tweaks me to remember it years later.
I know it is silly to complain about such a simple remark, but I find that simple remarks grow into more complicated remarks and sometimes less endearing comments.
I am not immune to making such comments. When watching various reality shows as “Survivor” or “American Idol”, I have been known to utter such descriptions about various contestants as “knucklehead” or “freak”. I do my best not to curse in front of my children, or in front of anyone, so I’ve adopted such language.
Yet today, I find myself working to phase even such minor sounding terms from everyday use. I can still forge colorful language if I lose my temper but losing one’s temper does not excuse poor behavior. Nor does another person’s ignorance or lack of verbal elasticity allow us to use unbecoming descriptive language.
There is a radio broadcast I like to listen to as a podcast. It is political and discusses issues from a more progressive attitude. On this program, one of the two hosts likes to refer to the President of our country as “the shrub”. He may begin the discussion using the President’s true name, but then he will slip into an attitude of superiority and start referring to “shrub”.
Although I agree with some of the points the host makes and understand and consider the others, I feel that the insulting name is not necessary to make the point. It is easy enough to get your point across without being demeaning.
To be clear, I also have listened to Al Franken’s program on Air America radio. Mr. Franken won’t hesitate to call someone a “liar”. I feel differently about that. Franken backs up his point with facts. Calling someone a “liar” isn’t so much a “ranking” game of being “one-up”, but simply describing someone for what they are.
In my original example, the President is not a “shrub”. The term clearly intended to be insulting, and thereby making only the host, and those who agree with him, feel good about themselves at someone else’s expense.
Let’s take this concept and broaden it some. The Governor of Massachusetts is Mitt Romney. Governor Romney is forsaking his current role to run for President during the 2008 election year. He has not officially announced, but has already begun to make speeches in places such as New Hampshire and South Carolina.
Now I like some of the things the Governor has accomplished. Universal health care for all state residents is huge. He did a great job with the Utah Winter Olympics a few years back.
Still, I have listened to the Governor speak (C-SPAN is wonderful). He is very charismatic. He can truly energize an audience. However, he loses me every time in one simple spot.
During most speeches, he likes to complain that the Massachusetts legislature “made a mistake” regarding same-sex marriage. He goes on about how he feels that same-sex marriage is a problem where the family is concerned.
During a February speech in West Bloomfield, MI, Governor Romney stated that he felt his state of Massachusetts “struck a blow against the foundation of the family.” He continued, “The right and ideal setting for raising a child is where there’s a mother and a father. The development of a child is enhanced by having both genders in their life. And even if there’s divorce or separation or even death the individual child can look at the father or can look at the mother and can learn from their attributes. The ideal setting for a child is where there’s a mom and a dad.”
So in a very subtle way, single parents of all shapes and sizes are not considered favorable to this Presidential contender. Anything outside of a theoretical nuclear family is not considered “ideal”. Male single parents. Female single parents. Single foster parents. Single grandparents. Single guardians. An uncle or aunt raising a niece or nephew. None of these children have it as good as families with two parents that are of opposite genders.
This bothers me. This type of thinking sets people back. I don’t have a personal axe to grind. I had opposite sex parents as did my wife. I have no homosexual members in my family (that I know for certain). However, I know a lot of single parents. I know some same sex partners who raise children. I feel strongly that most, if not all, of these people make better parents than some opposite sex parents I know and have known through the years.
You can’t look at two adults and say, “You are a man and woman. You’ll make good parents,” and then say, “You are two people of the same sex. Too bad your children won’t have as good a chance.” Guess what? They won’t have as good a chance because they won’t have the same benefits that opposite sex families have. By prohibiting same sex couples from the benefits available to opposite six couples, the children, or potential children, in their care will be limited.
Why would someone as intelligent as Governor Mitt Romney make some a statement? I could be wrong, but I think it is because we have many people in this country who foster destructive feelings toward other people. The sad part is that these people vote. The express their hate in many ways and one way is in the voting booth. I find it sad that the Governor, and undoubted other candidates, feel they have to pander to such a crowd.
On Sunday morning, and every morning, I listen to someone who believes all people are created equal. There are no labels. There are no ranks. There is no footnote that says “all are created equal, except for those with whom we don’t agree.” They don’t say, “All are created equal, except those who believe in other forms of religion.”
I know, I know. I need to get off the soapbox. I’m not really trying to change anyone’s opinion. Really. In order to foster change in today’s society, we need to stop ranking, labeling and otherwise hurting one another. We need to stop trying to make everyone the same and let people have their own beliefs and ideas about life.
As an individual, I can’t make the people of this world stop picking on each other. All I can do is control one person.
I believe that a God made and loves all people. I am going to do my best not to berate other people and value how they choose to live. From the neighbor next door to people of other races and religions countless miles away, as long as they are not picking up a stone against another, they have my respect.
Anyone care to join me?
What is “ranking”? According to a “Welcome Back Kotter” website, http://www.rollanet.org/~khigh/kotter.html, ranking is “a competition between two people where each tries to top the other's insults.”
On the sitcom, the insults were pretty benign. “Up your nose with a rubber hose,” was considered scathing. Kaplan has another phrase he uses on stage that’s more descriptive and more anatomically possible, if uncomfortable.
On the program, insulting someone was funny and harmless. It was thought to show a quick wit and allowed you to appear impressive.
The purpose my blog today isn’t to reminisce about old, dated sitcoms. However, remembering the show and my experiences of the 70’s did flood my mind with a number of thoughts about what we hear today.
In today’s society, you don’t hear much about “ranking”. What I hear about today is something similar. Today it is called “labeling”.
I am a Caucasian male. When I was a teen I had no outstanding abnormalities. I would not have been “labeled” by nationality. I would not have been “defined” by size.
What I do remember was being “labeled” with the term “junior jerk”. I went to a relatively small high school and there were about thirty or so in our graduating class. Of that thirty, the male/female ratio was split fairly evenly.
For some reason, during our junior year, our class earned the label “junior jerks”. It seemed to stick because a year or so later I visited the school. A former English teacher tripped as she passed by several of us who were talking together. She turned and saw me and muttered the epithet “junior jerk”.
Likely, this was meant to be funny. Hopefully, it was meant to be a term of recognition and maybe an endearment toward a member of her old class.
Still, it tweaks me to remember it years later.
I know it is silly to complain about such a simple remark, but I find that simple remarks grow into more complicated remarks and sometimes less endearing comments.
I am not immune to making such comments. When watching various reality shows as “Survivor” or “American Idol”, I have been known to utter such descriptions about various contestants as “knucklehead” or “freak”. I do my best not to curse in front of my children, or in front of anyone, so I’ve adopted such language.
Yet today, I find myself working to phase even such minor sounding terms from everyday use. I can still forge colorful language if I lose my temper but losing one’s temper does not excuse poor behavior. Nor does another person’s ignorance or lack of verbal elasticity allow us to use unbecoming descriptive language.
There is a radio broadcast I like to listen to as a podcast. It is political and discusses issues from a more progressive attitude. On this program, one of the two hosts likes to refer to the President of our country as “the shrub”. He may begin the discussion using the President’s true name, but then he will slip into an attitude of superiority and start referring to “shrub”.
Although I agree with some of the points the host makes and understand and consider the others, I feel that the insulting name is not necessary to make the point. It is easy enough to get your point across without being demeaning.
To be clear, I also have listened to Al Franken’s program on Air America radio. Mr. Franken won’t hesitate to call someone a “liar”. I feel differently about that. Franken backs up his point with facts. Calling someone a “liar” isn’t so much a “ranking” game of being “one-up”, but simply describing someone for what they are.
In my original example, the President is not a “shrub”. The term clearly intended to be insulting, and thereby making only the host, and those who agree with him, feel good about themselves at someone else’s expense.
Let’s take this concept and broaden it some. The Governor of Massachusetts is Mitt Romney. Governor Romney is forsaking his current role to run for President during the 2008 election year. He has not officially announced, but has already begun to make speeches in places such as New Hampshire and South Carolina.
Now I like some of the things the Governor has accomplished. Universal health care for all state residents is huge. He did a great job with the Utah Winter Olympics a few years back.
Still, I have listened to the Governor speak (C-SPAN is wonderful). He is very charismatic. He can truly energize an audience. However, he loses me every time in one simple spot.
During most speeches, he likes to complain that the Massachusetts legislature “made a mistake” regarding same-sex marriage. He goes on about how he feels that same-sex marriage is a problem where the family is concerned.
During a February speech in West Bloomfield, MI, Governor Romney stated that he felt his state of Massachusetts “struck a blow against the foundation of the family.” He continued, “The right and ideal setting for raising a child is where there’s a mother and a father. The development of a child is enhanced by having both genders in their life. And even if there’s divorce or separation or even death the individual child can look at the father or can look at the mother and can learn from their attributes. The ideal setting for a child is where there’s a mom and a dad.”
So in a very subtle way, single parents of all shapes and sizes are not considered favorable to this Presidential contender. Anything outside of a theoretical nuclear family is not considered “ideal”. Male single parents. Female single parents. Single foster parents. Single grandparents. Single guardians. An uncle or aunt raising a niece or nephew. None of these children have it as good as families with two parents that are of opposite genders.
This bothers me. This type of thinking sets people back. I don’t have a personal axe to grind. I had opposite sex parents as did my wife. I have no homosexual members in my family (that I know for certain). However, I know a lot of single parents. I know some same sex partners who raise children. I feel strongly that most, if not all, of these people make better parents than some opposite sex parents I know and have known through the years.
You can’t look at two adults and say, “You are a man and woman. You’ll make good parents,” and then say, “You are two people of the same sex. Too bad your children won’t have as good a chance.” Guess what? They won’t have as good a chance because they won’t have the same benefits that opposite sex families have. By prohibiting same sex couples from the benefits available to opposite six couples, the children, or potential children, in their care will be limited.
Why would someone as intelligent as Governor Mitt Romney make some a statement? I could be wrong, but I think it is because we have many people in this country who foster destructive feelings toward other people. The sad part is that these people vote. The express their hate in many ways and one way is in the voting booth. I find it sad that the Governor, and undoubted other candidates, feel they have to pander to such a crowd.
On Sunday morning, and every morning, I listen to someone who believes all people are created equal. There are no labels. There are no ranks. There is no footnote that says “all are created equal, except for those with whom we don’t agree.” They don’t say, “All are created equal, except those who believe in other forms of religion.”
I know, I know. I need to get off the soapbox. I’m not really trying to change anyone’s opinion. Really. In order to foster change in today’s society, we need to stop ranking, labeling and otherwise hurting one another. We need to stop trying to make everyone the same and let people have their own beliefs and ideas about life.
As an individual, I can’t make the people of this world stop picking on each other. All I can do is control one person.
I believe that a God made and loves all people. I am going to do my best not to berate other people and value how they choose to live. From the neighbor next door to people of other races and religions countless miles away, as long as they are not picking up a stone against another, they have my respect.
Anyone care to join me?
Labels: Social Justice
posted by Alexander Dimm | 9:38 PM
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